BLUF Exercise 1

Find the bottom line of the following student email and compose the BLUF. 

"hi. i hope i have the right guy.

my name is XXXXXXX. i asked XXXXXXX about a class, and she directed me to a Dr. Stouffer....and yours was the closest name on the list. i figured she may have just misspelled it. ..or maybe it's me who is wrong. in any case i have a question about a marketing class. please excuse me if i have the wrong person.

i am a student who is hoping to finish up class by the end of next summer, but the last class i need "selling and sales management" is scheduled at a time (M/W) next spring when i am unable to take it because it conflicts with my work schedule.

i was told i should ask about a replacement class. is there one...either spring semester or in the summer?

any suggestions or information would be greatly appreciated.

thank you."

Click on the image of an aged and catatonic Master Squid for the school solution.

Here are my suggestions of what to cut and what to leave in.

"hi. i hope i have the right guy."

• You're not gonna get anywhere starting off quoting my wife. Just say "Hi."

• And why are you writing the whole thing in lower case? Ugh.

"my name is XXXXXXX. i asked XXXXXXX about a class, and she directed me to a Dr. Stouffer....and yours was the closest name on the list. i figured she may have just misspelled it. ..or maybe it's me who is wrong. in any case i have a question about a marketing class. please excuse me if i have the wrong person."

• There is absolutely nothing useful to me in this entire paragraph. Leave it out.

"i am a student who is hoping to finish up class by the end of next summer, but the last class i need "selling and sales management" is scheduled at a time (M/W) next spring when i am unable to take it because it conflicts with my work schedule."

• There is some useful information here, but present it after I know what it is you want, i.e., after the BLUF.

• Imagine your email as a conversation with someone too busy to spend much time with you:

  • You: "Is it possible to replace Selling and Sales Management with some other course?"

  • Me: "Yes, it's possible. Why can't you take Selling and Sales Management?" 

  • You: "Because it's not being offered at a time when I can take it."

  • Me: "I see. Sure. Get with your advisor and find another marketing class, and I'll sign off on it."

"i was told i should ask about a replacement class. is there one...either spring semester or in the summer?"

• Students do this a lot: "I was told by someone to ask you for something." I know not why. I fear there might be a gun involved.

"any suggestions or information would be greatly appreciated.

thank you."

• That's polite. Leave it in.

• I also appreciate your steadfast refusal to use upper case and your inconsistent punctuation. It reassures me that my initial assessment of your abilities was accurate.